Communication Strategies

My parents are of the opposite political persuasion of me and my husband.  As a result, when we get together with them for family events, I always remind my husband not to bring up the hot political topic of the moment.  This is a learned response to past discussions that have disrupted in yelling and anger.  My husband has tried a new tactic as of late, in the hopes of starting a dialogue on politics. He has taken to listening to the same political talk shows as my parents because he is curious about how the other side thinks, as he puts it.  His natural curiosity is a great way to promote better communication.  By seeking to understand a different perspective by learning its values, he fosters an environment for learning from each other, and being respectful and tolerant of one another.   With this new perspective, he has indeed managed to have a discussion with my parents that did not involve yelling, which is a positive step.

I also communicate differently during social dinners with my husband's colleagues.  Conversation inevitably moves to work-related topics where plenty of jargon is used.  I cannot follow the conversation at times, and so, I disengage.  I avert my eyes downward.  I do not initiate conversation.  I sometimes make excuses to leave the table.  In thinking about ways to become a better communicator in this group, I could actively listen by asking questions when I do not understand something.  I could follow-up a comment by rephrasing it.  Another skill that I should keep in mind is to keep a positive focus and remember that my husband's colleagues are not purposefully choosing topics of conversation to exclude me.  I think I get defensive, which does not help me stay engaged.  My husband would be a good judge to tell me if my use of these new skills was effective or not.