Microaggressions Observed

A friend of mine who owns her own business complained to me during a social encounter this week about a client who kept postponing payment of services.  My friend said that she might have understood the excuses if the client was incapable of paying on time due to financial strain.  However, because this client “worked in the mafia”, she had little sympathy for the excuses.  This microassault, which was obviously derogatory, made me immediately uncomfortable and at a loss for words.  When the conversation moved on, my mind stayed behind playing back the conversation and how I should have said something to counter my friend’s negative words.  I wish I had.  Perhaps the social nature of the meeting gave me pause to bring up such a weighty topic.  Perhaps I was afraid to offend my friend.  After the coursework this week, I see how damaging such words can be, especially if repeated over time.   Not only are the words toxic to the targeted person, but they are toxic to me and to others who hear these microassaults and internalize negative beliefs about others.   The cycle of hurt can therefore be continued as I and others engage in microaggressions derived from these internalized beliefs.